Thursday, October 27, 2016

Day 30: From The Beginning.....

So, I woke up in this gorgeous home of my sweet boss Batia, to a phone call from the hospital saying your husband is gone, his mother pulled the plug.
I still to this day can't believe these words and can't imagine that's my life I'm talking about.
Yes I did not want to pull the plug myself and it had to be done because he was already brain dead and there was no more hope.
I do believe it was the right thing to do to let his mother take that action.
Batia and her husband had been there for me from the very beginning.
They drove me back to the hospital.
Now, this was a very weird sight when we walked in to Erik's room and the bed was empty.
I understand of course they had to dispose of his dead body but it still felt very painful to me.
Now the reality is setting in that I will never ever see my husband again.
Gosh the pain was almost unbearable.
They were asking me in the hospital what I wanted to do with my husbands dead body.
His daughters had asked me if we could cremate so they could have some of their father's ashes.
Erik was Jewish and in the Jewish religion they don't believe in cremation.
But I have to admit Erik was more of a "convenient Jew" (meaning he didn't practice) and those were his words.
So I had to listen to his daughters and respect their wishes. Erik was at the Coroner's office because I asked for an autopsy.
That's another weird thought that was going on in my head, now someone is cutting open my poor husband because of course I had to research everything on what that entailed.
The conclusion was that he died from a heart attack at 42 years young. 
I still can not believe these words.
From the Coroner's office they put his body on ice until I give orders to cremate or whatever I (his wife) decides.
Wow! The power a wife has right?!
This power is no fun but as Erik would always say when he was alive; "It is what it is".
I remember he also always said: "Hurry up & lets get moving, you can sleep when you die"
I guess be careful what you say in life.
Your words are powerful!
.....To Be Continued.....

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