Monday, October 24, 2016

Day 27: From The Beginning....

Finally they let me see him and let me tell you, it wasn't a nice sight.
He looked horrible, exactly how they show you in the movies.
He was pale like a skeleton, and he had tubes everywhere.
Now I am asking over and over....:'Why him?"
And then I asked: "Why me?, what did I do or didn't do to deserve this?"
Is this my Karma or his Karma?
Oh Lord can I just tell you, what I saw you would not wish upon your worst enemy.
He was 42 years young.
A very hard worker.
A loving dad.
A loving son.
A loving brother.
A loving husband.
All gone!
For 3 days I was hoping, wishing, praying for a miracle.
There was a social worker who tried to tell me nicely that my husband was dead the minute he arrived to the hospital.
I was of course in denial.
I even posted pictures on Facebook on my wall and other people's wall, how rude could I have been?
Misery definitely needs company.
For 3 days I stayed by his side and held his hand and I did not sleep, eat, drink or anything.
I so remember how excited I got when Erik went number 2 in the bed, I was like, Yeah! his organs are still working, so he is still alive!
But no, now I know it meant that his organs were shutting down one by one.
Gosh I was thinking like, I will be happy with my husband as a vegetable because that is better than death.
Finally they did a brain scan and they said there is no brain activity left.
I asked if we could do brain surgery but no, it was too late fore that.
....To Be Continued......

No comments:

Post a Comment