Now I notice that I pushed some old feelings aside.
I might have blocked memories and thoughts from that dark time.
It is weird because looking back its hard to recall some memories.
Okay let me get back to where I left off.
All the doctors said there was no hope.
No brain surgery was possible because he came in to the hospital brain dead already.
This is what might have happened.
Of course I don't have any facts because I wasn't there when it happened.
He went to work, he was a contractor in residential construction for his own business.
The job site was in Culver City CA.
At a female doctor's house.
He parked his work van in front of the house and he started to set up his tools in the back of the house.
He got a seizure and he tried to get to the work van to grab his sugar pills but he tripped and fell and got no air.
He was laying down in the grass face down for a while before the neighbor saw him.
Now it was already too late.
You know without oxygen for too long you become brain dead.
The neighbor ran to him and tried mouth to mouth etc and called 911.
Now the medics tried everything as well but it was all too late.
When I saw him in the hospital he was in a coma but without any of these machines he was gone.
So after 3 days they told me as his wife I should pull the plug.
I didn't know that I had that kind of power/control/responsibility as a wife.
I couldn't do it.
First off his daughters and sisters and parents needed to be able to fly in and say goodbye, at least that's what I thought.
His mother agreed to fly his daughters from NY to CA.
Mind you Erik didn't get along with his mother at all.
But in my mind that wasn't my place to bring up or discuss at all.
She was his mother and gave birth to him etc, so I really felt she needed to be able to say goodbye to her son.
Of course his daughters were the most important to say their goodbye's to their daddy.
.......To Be Continued......