Day 55: From The Beginning...Holland Trip

So the family drama didn't end there.

Once I arrived at my mothers house, my sister got upset that I didn't drive 3 hours while still a bit sick to her house.

Honestly I was mentally drained and I wasn't ready to drive for 3 hrs or take the train for that matter.

Now I had an upset sister and she doesn't get over it quick.

So I decided to just stay at my mothers house for the remainder of my Holland trip.

And gosh do my mother and I have a blast together.

Everyday we went for a walk and every day we visited another little town and took pix.

My mother has a male friend Lucas who joined us for several outings and we had lots of fun.

2 nights before my trip back home to America I got together with one of my Dutch besties JoJo.

We went to a cool bar and took lots of pix together.

On the morning of my flight back to the US I met up with my girl Laura and we had cappuccino's and a little photoshoot.

So my 2 weeks in Holland was pretty uneventful.

Meaning I didn't spend any time in the capital Amsterdam and I didn't spend a lot of time with my besties.

But the most important thing was to be with my mother and father and that is exactly what I did.

It's sad that I only saw my sister upon arrival but I really believe that was her choice when she decided to throw a hissy fit for no reason.

And honestly we never had a close relationship anyways.

Sometimes I feel that my sister thinks America is another planet without phones, computers etc because she can easily call/text/email me anytime, but she doesn't. 

Relationships take time and effort and it can not be a dead end street.

Both my father and sister complain at times that they don't have enough friends.

Now I know why.

.....To Be Continued....

Day 54: From The Beginning...Holland Trip

while my father and I were skyping with my cousin in Bulgaria, my dad was complaining that my cousin wasn't holding his camera/his phone steady, because it was all over the place and kind of shaky.

I told my father that maybe that was because his reception was bad or it was the first time for him.

You know little things like that my father can't relate to or understand.

I understand fully that there is a big generation gap and in my fathers time there were no computers etc.

But I do notice, that once a man/woman gets older in life, they are set in their ways and there is no compromise.

My dad ended our Skype session with my cousin pretty fast and we continued drinking some tea and chit chatted.

I don't know if I mentioned earlier but my father is 85 years young and getting real close to being deaf in both ears.

This is as you understand very hard with communicating.

Usually its just my father talking and I listen.

If I did say something and if he didn't like what I said, he would say: "I can't hear you"

To this day I don't know if that was really the case or that he was practicing "selective hearing".

The next day I went back to my mother's home.

Gosh, I felt I was mentally drained after visiting my dad.

Don't get me wrong, I love my father with a passion and I will always be there for him if/when he needs me.

But he never accepts any help.

I wanted to clean his house, which I did a little bit anyways but he didn't want me to do that.

I offered to go with him to the doctor to get a hearing aid, but he didn't want to go to the doctor and he didn't want a hearing aid.

I offered to help him get another housekeeper because his old one broke her hip and wasn't coming back.

I am sure we all go through life dealing with these issues at some point.

.....To Be Continued.....

Day 53: From The Beginning ...Holland Trip

After my dad hung up the phone on my mom, I decided to call my sister and put her on speaker phone.
I don't know, I really think I needed support.
Talking to my father is hard sometimes because he used to be a doctor/professor/teacher and he is so used to being right or thinking that he's right.
But needless to say after a while my dad hung up the phone on my sister as well.
Also I should mention that my jet lag was kicking in and my tummy ache was getting worse and worse.
My dad is stubborn but I am too.
Guess where I got that from?
I ended up throwing up.
Sick as a dog, my dad took good care of me though, he got me water and a bucket to throw up in.
We ended our conversation and both went upstairs to sleep.
My father even got me a heating pad for my upset tummy.
The moral of the story is that even after arguing we both came out strong and bonded even more.
Yes there will always be family/relationship/friendship drama but that doesn't mean it's the end of the relationship.
The next day I was feeling a bit better and took a long hot bubble bath.
We sat around in the house and chit chatted.
When your parents are older there are not many outdoor activities you can do sadly.
We just sit on the couch and drink tea & coffee and make dinner together which is totally fine with me.
We skyped my cousin in Bulgaria who had just bought a villa with pool and was showing us around his new home.
.....To Be Continued.....

Day 52: From the beginning...Holland Trip

The reason I am sharing all this, is that I would like to let you know, that nobody's life is perfect and we all have drama.
Family drama, relationship drama etc.
Sometimes more money creates more problems.
Take my father for instance.
He has more money than he knows what to do with.
He is 85 years old and his heart is broken because my mother left him after 40 years of marriage.
Now before we play the blame game, and blame my mother, stop.
My mother tried for 40 years and she is a saint for putting up with everything for that long.
Every argument has three sides to it.
His side, her side and the truth.

Okay back to the phone call.
My father & I called my mother on speaker phone.
My father started out saying to my mother, "why did you leave me?' "do you want to apologize for leaving me?' and he pretty much started blaming my mother for leaving etc.
Now we all know, that no conversation ends nicely after we start accusing the other person.
My mother started defending herself and telling my father he has to focus on his youngest daughter visiting him from America, instead of focusing on his own needs.
It got heated and my father hung up the phone on my mother.
If there is something I dislike with a passion, it is hanging up the phone on the other person.
Communicating has never been my fathers strong suit.
If there is something I learned amongst a lot of other things from my parents, it will be that communication is extremely important.
......To be continued....

Day 51: From The Beginning...Holland Trip...

After cleaning up and washing dishes, I made my father and myself a cup of tea.

My father still uses an old school tea kettle, which of course has its charm and I got myself one as well back home in The States. 

But my father has his own special way in making tea.

I of course wanted to make it my way but my father poured out most of the water I had poured in the kettle to make the tea.

Okay here we go boiling water in barely enough water for 2 cups.

To prove to my father I showed him the end result which was not enough for 2 cups.

So he had his cup of tea but I had to go back to the kitchen and boil more water for my cup of tea.

Ahhhh, family and the little things that annoy us for no reason.

Did you know that we as humans are overall nicer to strangers than we are to our loved ones?

You know why? Simple because we feel that we can and we will never lose them because they are family.

Wrong! We gotta make an effort to keep our cool and still love and respect our family.

Personally I was hurt at this point and shed some tears because I was super tired, uncomfortable, and had a terrible tummy ache.

Oh and jet lag was obviously there.

My dad walked in the kitchen and hugged me and asked why I was crying.

We sat down and started talking about both our 'issues".

My father started talking about how he was still heartbroken over my mother leaving him, 12 years ago after 40 years of marriage.

I had heard this story for the last 12 years on a daily basis.

I am always looking for solutions, because I believe where there is a problem, there must be a solution.

In this case I advised getting on the phone with my mother and discussing it with her once again.

Because I didn't want to be in the middle or the messenger.

Mind you, there is so much resentment between my mom & dad.

The phone conversation didn't go well needless to say.

.....To be continued.....

Day 50: From The Beginning...Holland Trip

So here we are, my sweet papa and I at a Dutch tiny grocery store somewhere in the middle of nowhere on the country side in Holland.
This is kind of special to me, because I don't live in my home country anymore and I kind of want to take it all in.
But as you know older people tend to get set in their ways and they just like to stick to their own routine.
Which is totally fine of course but I kind of wanted to pick out my own groceries because my fathers fridge was pretty empty and I am a stickler about eating healthy.
This is where family sometimes can't relate and they just don't want to hear these nonsense.
I am sure you guys can relate that sometimes its hard to stick to your healthy lifestyle and views in front of your family.
Especially when you didn't grow up that way.
So, we left the grocery store and drove some more to another store for a special kind of yoghurt my dad wanted.
Again the drive was scary because older people are super scary on the road. I think it is because they are scared themselves so they drive like a victim not defensive.
Slow and not sure of themselves and that shows.
So back home we start cooking together and mind you us Dutchies, or I shouldn't  generalize but my family we are super small eaters.
Very tiny portions.
So thats what we had.
Needless to say I was still hungry and there wasn't more food in the fridge.
A full stocked fridge makes me feel super wealthy, so I wasn't feeling so shabby at that moment.
Also my tummy was hurting and I felt super tired.
Maybe my jet lag was setting in.
I started washing dishes and cleaning up for my father.
After the cleaning I made my father and myself a cup of tea.
Again this experience was a bit traumatic.
.......To Be Continued.....

Day 49: From The Beginning...Holland Trip

After driving for like over 1 hour in thick fog, I had reached my father's farm house.

He was sitting by the window behind his computer.

Immediately he came outside and hugged me.

The minute I got inside he shared with me that he was a little upset because his computer wasn't working. Mind you, my father is 85 years young.

My point with that is that it doesn't matter what age we have, young or old, we still get obsessed with technology. 

You know how the older generation frowns upon the young generation's obsession over our I-phones and computers.

But we are all the same way.

So, I decided to help my father out and got on the phone with his computer's provider.

A lady in India helped me who's English was very broken but she got the job done, so I'm not complaining.

My father was super happy and I offered making coffee for the two of us.

We were chit chatting and enjoying our time together.

Later we went grocery shopping.

I don't know if you ever sat in the car next to a senior citizen driving you, but it was flat out scary!

My father drove under the minimum speed allowance. (I know, hard to believe but true.)

Every time another car approached he pulled over.

Thankfully my father lives in the country side, so it is never that crowded.

At the grocery store it wasn't that much fun either because as you know, the older people get, the more they are set in their ways.

So I was just summoned to follow my dad and not stop and browse.

If you know me a tiny bit, you know I love to take my sweet time and browse.

......To Be Continued......