Day 46: From The Beginning....

I am going to Amsterdam (Holland) this coming Thursday December 1st, 2016.

Excited to hug my parents, sister & my friends back home.

I always get a bit nervous before trips because I just love being home and comfy and safe with my hubby here in sunny California.

I know it is going to be a long flight (15hrs), 2 planes and it's going to be cold ....burrr....

If there is something I dislike with a passion in life, that will be cold weather.

I left my home country mainly because of the cold climate.

Also for some reason I still associate Holland with my deportation and becoming a widow.

When I got deported from America (mentioned in one of the previous blogs).

I obviously wasn't allowed back in America for like 5 years (Thank God in my case 3 years).

Because now I was on a so called "Black List".

I don't know about you, but I have always been "kind of" a rebel and when you tell me I can't go somewhere, I want to go even more.

I traveled within Europe to find a "Home" like America to me, but to no avail.

So I always have that fear of not being "allowed" back in.

Of course now I am a Permanent Legal Resident with a Green Card which is forever good and with the option of applying for The American Passport and becoming an American Citizen.

Which I will apply for next year.

It just cost a lot of money and you got to pass a test.

I have a big fear of tests.

But it is what it is and I am very grateful that I have that opportunity.

The reason that I associate Holland with becoming a widow is because I had booked a flight to Amsterdam a few days prior to my late husband's death.

I remember praying to God before my trip: "Please God, let something happen so that I don't have to go and leave my husband for the next 2 weeks."

I just didn't want to go without my late husband but he had to stay home in Beverly Hills to take care of our Business.

This time around my darling husband John has to stay home close to the plane, because he's a private jet pilot and on call.

I know all this fear is just in my head and I have been working on myself by journaling, meditating, blogging, reading, listening to podcasts.

So hopefully this time around I can control my emotions and just enjoy the moment.

.....To Be Continued.....

Day 45: From The Beginning....

When someone calls me a Pretty Princess, I have never taken that as a compliment.

Of course it all depends in what context it is meant.

First off we all know that a Pretty Face is nothing if you have an ugly heart.

People who are attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won't be by your side forever.

But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.

You know as a little girl, much like lots of little girls I watched the shows with the princess and of course always wished for that kind of life.

I mean lets keep it real here!

Who doesn't want to look beautiful and dress beautifully and live in a pretty home and drive a fabulous car and usually/normally it takes money to purchase some of these things.

A Princess/Prince normally has this kind of funding.

So yes I am in! Where do I sign up hahahaha.

Growing up I always figured, "you know what?" If I treat myself as a Queen/Princess and if I see myself that way, I will most likely attract a King/Prince.

And that is exactly what happened to me in my life.

Twice!

Because what you focus on begins to grow.

Don't get me wrong I had to kiss some frogs and weed out all the bad guys.

My first Prince Charming passed away as you know from the beginning of my story.

He was young and I was young.

I did not believe that that was the end of my love story.

I was down and sad and broken and hurt.

But I did NOT give up and I started looking for another Prince Charming because I knew I was worth it.

Of course rejection was a big part of my journey.

It still is. Its life!

Rejection doesn't mean you aren't good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer.

.....To Be Continued.....

Day 44: From The Beginning....

Today, as I am writing this, it has been almost 2 years ago since we got married.

John & I spend a lot of time together because he only flies like 80 hrs out of the year as a private jet pilot and I fly maybe 2 wks out of every few months as a Corporate Flight Attendant for private jets as well.

So John and I are together a lot and we wouldn't want that any other way.

Life is really great and I can honestly say that I have everything that my heart desires.

Yes sometimes I wonder why I lost my first husband and baby.

But that is just my life story and life goes on.

I don't dwell on the past but learn and grow instead.

John and I live in sunny California and have a dog Dobby (16 lbs terrier) and a cat DumbDumb (who is no DumbDumb).

John golfs a lot and I hike and run a lot.

I started my own Meet Up Group called Fit & Fabulous and got like 300 Fit & Fab ladies so far.

I schedule events for myself and then just post it on my Meet Up group.

So far I have made some amazing friends.

In a week I am going to my home country Holland to visit my family and friends.

I'll blog about it and I will keep a daily journal.

My daily routine consists of some sort of exercise, meditation, blogging and journaling.

Yesterday John and I celebrated Thanks Giving at our Country Club Shadowridge.

John golfed and I rode around in the golf cart with him while snapping pix of our beautiful surroundings.

Afterwards we enjoyed a delicious Thanks Giving dinner.

It was great to see how much John is loved over there.

One of his golf buddies chatted with us while we were enjoying some mimosas and he said after I asked him why his wife didn't text me back: "my wife doesn't really like pretty princesses"

Huh? ....To Be Continued......

Day 43: From The Beginning....

So, our first date never ended.

John & I just both knew when we met that we were The One for each other.

In life, you just know it or not.

Love is about timing but it is also about chemistry and a lot of other things.

We all look at life from our own perspective.

Based on our experiences.

Back to the story.

John & I went to his home after Benihana.

We both agreed to no "hanky panky" and just continuing to getting to know each other.

It became kind of like a sleep over with your best friend.

We both agreed that if/when we got tired of each other, John would drive me home or he would just drop me off at the train station hahahaha.

To this day when we hear a train that is a inside joke.

Like I better behave or John put my ass on the train.

So we lived with each other at his home in Carlsbad and I rented out my studio back in Beverly Hills.

After 1 year we got married and to this day that has been the best decision I've ever made.

John's parents flew here from Louisiana and we got married at the local court house.

It wasn't really romantic, it was more like, take a number like at the DMV.

But it was exactly what we both wanted.

John never really proposed but we discussed it and agreed on it all.

His parents shed some tears and that was really sweet.

I even got a flower crown, kind of like Jesus Christ.

But it looked ridiculous, it was way too big and over the top.

That's kind of how I roll though.

I always have the tendency to overdress.

This always looks silly on me because I am already a tall blonde with big real boobies and a tiny waist so I never really blend in, even though I really want to.

At the end of the day, we are very happy and proud that we didn't waste money on a big wedding because you know what? It is about our love for each other and not about showing off how much money we can spend.

......To Be Continued......

Day 42: From the beginning...

Now we were driving from Beverly Hills to Carlsbad (San Diego county), this was the perfect way to chat and get to know each other better.
I remember getting a text from one of my girlfriends Nina, she just wanted me to confirm that I was okay because she knew that John would pick me up that day for our first date.
She had warned me that I was taking a risk by getting in his car and not knowing where he would take me.
Yes of course she was so right.
Better safe than sorry.
We all hear and see horror stories on the news.
I have always followed my gut and trusted my instincts.
I was sharing my thoughts with John after I received Nina's text and he said, 'lets entertain this a bit and text Nina back and tell her that you are tied up in the trunk."
I did, and Nina replied, but wait how come you can still text while you are tied up in the trunk?"
I replied that he forgot to take my phone from me.
Now looking back I realize this wasn't so funny to her, as it was to us.
She texted me that she was going to call the cops.
Quickly I assured her that I was just kidding and I was perfectly safe and John was a true Southern Gentleman.
Nina, got mad at me and didn't talk to me for a while.
I totally understand her response and apologized to her.
Now we are all good again.

We arrived in Carlsbad and went for dinner to John's favorite restaurant Benihana.
Our whole first date just felt so natural and kind of like we knew each other all of our lives.
It really is true that when you meet your soulmate, you just know.
It's like a truck hits you head on.
It just feels natural and you can be yourself.
So, let me tell you how our first date ended.
....To Be Continued......

Day 41: From The Beginning.....

So as you know, John and I had not seen each other Face to Face in person.

And there is such a thing as chemistry, I don't know if this counts for Skype/Face Time as well.

We had lots of chemistry on Skype and Face Time.

Now we were going to meet each other in person, I was super nervous.

Don't forget he had to drive 2 hrs at least, don't forget traffic in LA, from San Diego.

I remember asking John while we were Skyping/FaceTiming to stand on a chair, so I could see his body type.

He was skinny but perfect.

I have always struggled with being skinny myself.

Don't get me wrong, I have never been overweight but I had to work at it.

I was married before to an obese man and his children & ex-wife had this issue as well.

Health & Fitness have always been very important to me.

Okay back to the story.

After trying to coordinate a time, because John is a private pilot and it is always hard for him to commit because he has to stay close to the plane which is in San Diego.

He actually got a call for a trip last minute, after he had set up a time to drive to me, but thankfully that trip got canceled.

Gosh, I remember when I walked outside my studio to meet him in person.

He was wearing a red sweater and dark blue jeans.

I was super duper nervous and a bit standoffish.

And yes I thought his legs were so skinny, he could break.

Now years later he's still skinny, but healthy skinny.

You know how married men are usually healthier because we feed them better than they can feed themselves. 

I had packed a little backpack because we had not decided on a return date hahaha.

Also I had Airbnb renters arriving soon.

So we got in his big truck and took off.

Off to Carlsbad CA (San Diego county).

.....To Be Continued....

Day 40: From The Beginning....

This is where my life started again after being a widow for a couple of years.
We all grief differently but I never wanted to be alone.
Some people need to be alone for a while after a loss and don't get me wrong I was alone for long enough.
You know in life, you still grow even when you are in a relationship.
And that's what life is all about.
You need to train your brain daily and grow.

So, this one day while I was browsing POF (Plenty Of Fish) dating website, I stumbled upon this handsome guy with the most gorgeous blue eyes and such a genuine smile.
I favorited him, he returned the favor and favorited me.
I sent him a little message and he replied immediately.
We started messaging each other back and forth.
He asked if I had an accent, you know being from Holland that would be normal, so I said yes.
He said that he had an accent.
A Southern accent, because he was from Louisiana.
He also told me that yes he lived in Carlsbad (San Diego county) but because he was a pilot he was traveling a lot.
At the time we met he was in Dallas for his yearly recurrent Pilot Training.
I was staying at my girlfriend Stacey's house in Culver City while I was renting out my studio through Airbnb.
John & I started texting,  talking on the phone, Face Timing and Skyping.
For the next 10 days we were keeping in touch daily and even several times per day.
To be honest pretty much all day every day & night.
Of course he had training and I went on daily walks while I was making money renting out my place.
10 days we chatted and got to know each other pretty well.
I remember like it was yesterday.
We woke up talking to each other, we had our breakfast together, we laughed together, we cried together, had drinks together, we fell asleep while skyping, we saw/heard each other snore.
Gosh we established this deep and strong foundation that way.
Finally he flew home after his training was completed and we decided he was going straight home to freshen up and change clothes and then he was going to jump in the car and drive from Carlsbad to Beverly Hills to take me out for dinner. Our first actual date. Face to Face.
To Be Continued......